TheWindCriesMary
The Ethics Police
EIR Veteran Posts: 2630
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« on: December 06, 2010, 04:17:31 am » |
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Oh 25pdr, I looked you up on wikipedia, You are considered by many to be the best field artillery piece of the war, This is good news, for I have been having a hard time with enemy artillery lately, I am excited that you will distribute great punishment upon my enemies on the fields of EiR battle, I shall purchase you with the fuel I cannot afford to waste,
Oh 25 pdr, You are so cool to look at, You are an emplacement, which means my hard working men shall dig with great craftiness to make you a home, You are a big gun with your own fortress of solitude, your sandbags shall surely give you much protection, Surely your size is indicative of how fearsome you are,
Oh 25pdr, You are now set up and ready to distribute great pain upon the enemy, But 25pdr, why can you not reach them with your shells? The enemy is right there, amassed in a great blob waiting to be punished, but you will not shoot 25 pdr. 25pdr, your yellow circle barely reaches farther than an axis mortar, and this hurts my heart, I must check to make sure you are not a 17pdr emplacement that I have purchased and set up by mistake,
Oh 25pdr, It turns out I was not mistaken, you are a 25pdr after all, I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with you for 2 minutes now, many men have died because I'm preoccupied, I am also troubled because I can see my american ally shooting half way around the world with his howitzer, I looked up his howitzer on wikipedia while the enemy is outcapping our team; it is supposed to be inferior, Oh 25pdr, I gave up trying to get you to shoot farther than the distance a seven-year old girl could throw you, But what luck! You see 25 pdr, an enemy blob has come to us instead. They are practically standing on top of you. I am sorry for doubting you 25pdr, for now they shall finally taste your vengeance. But oh 25pdr, Why did your shells all miss the enemy infantry? They were directly in front of you. A man throwing pineapples with his feet could have hit them, 25pdr. Is it something I said, 25pdr? And why did your shell which missed all the enemy blob, but landed on a marder, not damage the marder? 25pdr, do you know how thin a marder's armour is? A garand rifle can damage a marder, 25pdr. Oh 25pdr you work in mysterious ways,
Oh 25pdr, You were just killed by an mg42 before I could blink, Why do you let bullets destroy your fortified sandbags and entrenched position? And 25pdr, why were you not able to hit the mg42 with your dying barrage before it killed you? Were you trying to disrupt it's aim by shaking the ground around it? That is not a good strategy 25pdr.
Oh 25pdr, You are a vexing and confusing beast, You must delight in my suffering, Why do you hurt me 25pdr, instead of the enemy? Oh 25pdr, I am sorry.
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