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Author Topic: The parabolic EIR effect  (Read 4026 times)
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Contaminator Offline
EIR Member
Posts: 161



« on: November 22, 2011, 02:58:21 am »

Today/last night I participated in several games. Unfortunately it was a night of horrible roflfest for the axis community. My poor vet units I had nursed from wee little pee ons were quickly decimated by trolol Pzr II's, Flames, and the magical red smoke that brings the doom. Amongst the chaos I could almost feel the spirit of the EIR gods turning their gaze from me... Disappointed in my performance.

In their place grew a hatred. I desire to launch my poor computer several miles into the air and watch it gloriously vaporize when it reconnected itself with the ground. In what was to be my final game of the evening I swore that if this game went as poorly as the others EIR would be out of my life for possibly another year.

But what was this?! A victory! somewhat cheapened by the loss of two of the axis team through drops (one early and one late). But a victory non the less! My hope was rekindled that there might be some justice in EIR and ensured that, at least for the time being... EIR will continue to be my crack, my opium, my curse.

This is the parabolic EIR effect. Right before you rage and quit... it gives you a taste of the good stuff... takes you to the brink... but always brings you back. Making it all the sweeter.

Logged

the nashorn is like a kid with a giant penis, it has no idea how to use it or where to point it most of the time but it could still fuck you
Malgoroth Offline
Donator
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Posts: 961


« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2011, 03:46:12 am »

Sounds accurate enough I suppose.

The main reason I keep returning to CoH and EiR after all these years is because there is no other game out there where winning is more satisfying or losing more infuriating.

It is a game of constant extremes. Hence my unholy, blasphemy laden, profane and obscene rage. 
Logged
Smokaz Offline
Honoured Member
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Posts: 11433



« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2011, 04:36:05 am »

What you are experiencing is the timid beginnings of the Spirit of Vengance.

Stomped by a million condescending, unruly and dominant EIRR internet warlords a seed of greatness has been impregnated in you.

You are feeling growth, perspiration and anally retentiveness. Every mistake will be undone and erased from creation. Every slight will be revenged! Every opponent will be crushed, his vet taken from him, his chronies humiliated and the replay forum filled with landmarks of your victim holocausts!

"L2P" is like a Auswitcz tattoo on your arm, a mark of the survivor.

Somewhere beyond the rainbow, beyond the calliope barrages is a casket of pure vet 3 gold commanding you forward.

You see in your mind your own EIRR persona, your own company of frankenflop campaign tards serving your will on the forums and in the launcher chat. You see yourself cast down the heroes of old and sit on the iron throne, admitting defeat to none, giving not a moments pause to consider if a tactic is too lame or idiotic to succeed. No stack plays henchman enough to your Bossyness.

Somewhere inside you is a Mysthalin.. a Bigdick....something vile, blind and passive-aggressive.

February is when you will have seized greatness!
« Last Edit: November 22, 2011, 04:37:45 am by Smokaz » Logged

SlippedHerTheBigOne: big penis puma
SlippedHerTheBigOne: and i have no repairkits
SlippedHerTheBigOne: ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡)
Computer991 Offline
Donator
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Posts: 1219



« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2011, 04:40:39 am »

I'm sorry you had to read that.

J/k that shit was a master piece.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2011, 04:46:13 am by Computer991 » Logged

Mysthalin Offline
Tired King of Stats
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Posts: 8968


« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2011, 04:54:27 am »

Hey, I may be vile and passive-aggressive smokaz, but I'm not blind.

I can still read.
Logged

Quote from: ick312
And Mysthalin, stop acting like Rolscika or Shabtajus, for you will never be pro like them"
Demon767 Offline
Warmap Betatester
EIR Veteran
Posts: 6216



« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2011, 05:06:31 am »

Contaminator has been inducted by the fiery flames of hell as is commonly known as the metagame, into our society.

Thou will hold the honour of being named 'troll' by your own brethren.

envied by the COH clans

Hated by the weak OMG clan

Loved by women

You are a true son of Skyrim.
Logged


Generalleutnant of The Reichs Wolves

Nevergetsputonlistguy767
Unkn0wn Offline
Retired
*
Posts: 18125


« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2011, 05:52:37 am »

Wrong game bra
Logged
spinn72 Offline
EIR Veteran
Posts: 1810



« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2011, 07:23:24 am »

Wrong game bra

Skyrim is good, EIRR is good, I call close enough!
Logged
nugnugx Offline
Donator
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Posts: 4051



« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2011, 07:26:07 am »


Somewhere inside you is a Mysthalin.. a Bigdick....something vile, blind and passive-aggressive.


best sig material ever ?
Logged

shockcoil Offline
griefer & spammer
EIR Veteran
Posts: 1559



« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2011, 07:46:21 am »

So... EIR fanfic by Smokaz anyone?
Logged

Smokaz Offline
Honoured Member
*
Posts: 11433



« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2011, 09:01:38 am »

So... EIR fanfic by Smokaz anyone?

"Seeing Bigdick in his full sado mask attire, David couldn't help but feel a tingle in his special place.."
Logged
RikiRude Offline
Donator
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Posts: 4384



« Reply #11 on: November 22, 2011, 09:59:53 am »

this is great, you truly said it smokaz.

there is a point where L2P makes you say "but i know how to play, i know what im doing, things just arent balanced" then once you realize your folly and actually L2P it's like being baptized by fire, you see the error in yourself and set out to improve and get better!

now i can say ive learned to play, and your fucking bullshit OP spam is a crock you no good bastard of a whore! but... GG.
Logged



Quote from: Killer344
Killer344: "Repent: sory no joke i just had savage diorea"
... or a fat ass cock sucking churchill being stupid
smurfORnot Offline
EIR Veteran
Posts: 4719



« Reply #12 on: November 22, 2011, 10:02:10 am »

then you make your spam,each spam has counter spam  Tongue
Logged
Tymathee Offline
Donator
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Posts: 9756



« Reply #13 on: November 22, 2011, 12:18:12 pm »

lol thats EIR. Like the game i played last night, I started horrid, i raged, i spat horrible obenaties at my opponent (especially after he off mapped my vet 3 recon with a rocket arty) but alas, as the game went on, my skill returned, i thought clearer and victory was sweet.

you will rage, no doubt about it, it will happen but victori is sooo sweeet.
Logged

"I want proof!"
"I have proof!"
"Whatever, I'm still right"

Dafuq man, don't ask for proof if you'll refuse it if it's not in your favor, logic fallacy for the bloody win.
RikiRude Offline
Donator
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Posts: 4384



« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2011, 12:35:17 pm »

i agree, when i win, i feel on top of the world, especially if i felt that odds were up against me.
Logged
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