Poems thread

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[Ununoctium]

Feel free to use that time waiting for a game creatively.

Torjado has asked for a poem about artillery so what the hell, lets start a firestorm.

Artillery (on-map)

Exploding Rain,
falling flames,
peppers the ground,
kills and maims.

One-oh-fives',
Crack of thunder,
pounds the roof,
hidden under.

Priest barrage,
from the sky,
pray if you want,
the axis die.

T-thiry-four,
Calliope shermans,
Rocket rain,
killed the germans.

churchill A.V.R.E
huge ass Mortar Petard,
"one high explosive shell please",
"with a side of kraut Retard".

Hummel Arty,
Flaming or explosive,
as dangerous,
as toxic corrosive.

Nebelwerfers,
and falling fear,
will burn your comrades,
oh so dear.

Stukka's of doom,
little big rockets,
like carrying grenades,
in your pockets.

Officers unite,
Mortar barrage and FOO.
If they don't kill,
At least they shoo.

and to all those mortars,
all over the place,
you know everyone wants,
to shoot you in the face.

~Ununoctium (let me know if i missed one)

[Ununoctium]

Artillery (off-map) still for Torjado... persistent basterd...

Earthshaker,
shakes with a pound,
pieces of meat,
the men hit the ground.

Strafing run of doom,
pinned or dead,
poor old hans,
got shot in the head.

Bombing run,
classic five booms,
tanks out of control,
crash through living rooms.

Typhoon run,
rockets on a plane,
if you thought ami's were bad,
you now have brits to blame.

Rocket artillery,
fast and furious barrage,
turns the ground into a pretty,
crater collage.

Firestorm of fear,
burns from the inside,
retreat or take cover,
you decide.

V1 the almighty,
V1 that never hits,
sometimes more terrifying,
than a hairy man's pits.

Off map artillery
sometimes a bore,
yet even worse,
is an artillery whore.

~Ununoctium
---RCA,
---the Canadian corps,
---mess with us,
---we'll see who's the corpse.

[EIRRMod]

Off map artillery
sometimes a bore,
yet even worse,
is an artillery whore.

Patch.
Next Week.
Will it fix?
The offmap spam whore?
I hope so.
Damn Arty.
Patch.

[Smokaz]

Peom by Smokaz

Whining in vent
whining in vent
whats up p diddy
this is time well spent

[Ununoctium]

You want a poem?

The rifles ran in,
Their numbers were winning,
Grenadiers ran home,
Beneath many BARS a-pinning.

They met yet again,
Both wiser than before,
Yet once again,
The rifles mopped the floor.

Third time's the charm,
another engagement,
this time Ami losses,
the axis content.

And now stand the axis,
strong and elite,
numbers were useless,
and were a shield of meat.

M10 crews did not last,
axis steel was so tough,
AP rounds were no help,
out there in the rough.

and now the axis,
with commander support,
are stronger and greater,
than the allies at port.

pushed back to the beaches,
no ground to hold,
the allies will all die,
the brave and the bold.

~Ununoctium



PS it seems the war is fiddling around the middle stage-not late.

[jackmccrack]

I was looking on the forums when I saw a thread.
Just WTF is going on in Ununoctium's head?
"Peoms"

I am in pain trying to say this guy's name
Uno...ununoc....boy this is lame

Almonds are great to have as a snack
and for throwing at my monitor
if my tank gets wacked...
"Panzerknacker"

Back in vCoH it is so broken, they have that camo pak cloak
It nullifies my armor...makes me want to slit my throat
I come here to EIRR and baby it's a new boat
of lovely beautiful things.

[GarnierMcGarvey]

Klaus is not fast enough
he always is late.
He's thinking up peoms,
not hearing the gait,

of the tin can approaching,
where from? no! too late!
M10 squishes his feet,
and parietal pate.

Klaus! cries friend Hans,
but no answer Hans hears,
o'er the din of the grinding
American gears.

And now, as Hans raises
his face from the ground,
behold the great hulk
upon him bearing down!

To his feet he does scatter,
but look! Not in time!
See the green paint now spattered,
with Hans-smelling grime!

[Ununoctium]

Thats a really nice one.

I made some lines for the 88 strafe.

It come from the heavens,
no earthly bounds,
extended front barrel,
loaded heat rounds,

It swoops down and dives,
unleashes its wrath,
shredding the steel,
marked in its path,

not John, not Micheal,
not even Quin,
heard it coming,
through the battle's din,

Knack-Knack-Knack,
goes the panzerknacker,
muching on americans,
each soul a cracker,

and when it is full,
it returns to the skies,
waiting to be called on,
the 88 that flies.

[Groundfire]

Religion

Such as a lion would stalk the oasis
prey seeking a drink, he watches
from the grasses, in the mud his body sinks.
netting across his back, no just the earth
such a common stasis, it will make you think
that he is not there at all

and across the field, panzers kick dust into the air
as the powerful column makes their way to cher-
bourge. A bead of sweat drips down his eye
and slides off the scope. The dry mud cracks
at the joints of his finger; a startled bird takes to the sky
off the tractor, from under which, he hides

Its more for shade, in the hot french sun
and another target walks by, just a boy
marching with the tanks, shouldering his gun.
No, for he is too young.
Let it hit someone with more age
as the cross settles upon another man
to give him just a little more faith.


*BAM*


"Trick or Treat muther f***er"

[TheWindCriesMary]

 Waiting for a game, man this is lame,
 Where are the allies? It's always the same.
 I know they're online,
 They're sitting in the launcher so smug,
 But I can't get them in a game!
  No, no matter how hard I tug
 
 Do they think they are hiding?
  I can still see their names,
 But they simply aren't joining!
 Not joining any of these games!

 Ok so maybe I take that back,
 2147 is filling,
 But I'm in 2134, so the news is not thrilling,
 It brings with it, a sad realization,
 I've been waiting 45 minutes now,
 Oh the frustration!
 
 Maybe it's my fault, I made a game with Pak,
 And maybe they're all whispering:
 "Don't join there, it's a stack!"
 But I just want a game, and I'm sure he does too,
 Doesn't Pak deserve some games?
 Isn't Pak human too?

 Oh I guess it's no use,
 There's no allies on this turf,
 Maybe they're unhappy,
 About some supposed nerf,
 I guess I'll just have to,
 Change my name and smurf.

 -TheWindCriesMary
 

 

 

  
 

[Demon767]

82nd airborne song

From: The 82nd. Division Pamphlet 600-2

The All American Soldier

Put on your boots, boots, boots
And parachute-chutes-chutes
We're going up, up, up
And coming down, down, down.

We're All American and proud to be
for we're the soldiers of liberty.
Some ride their gliders to the enemy.
Others are sky paratroopers.

We're All American and fight we will,
'Til all the guns of the foe are still.
Airborne from skies of blue,
We're coming through, Let's Go!

Put on your boots, your parachutes,
Get all those gliders ready to attack today.
For we'll be gone into the dawn,
To fight them all the 82d way, hey!






"Battered Bastards of Bastogne."

Let us pause and reflect,
On a battle we'll never forget....
Twas December of '44,
All our troopers were at war....

Tested on OVERLORD and MARKETGARDEN,
Scrreaming Eagles,  toned and hardened....
Fought their way to the Ardennes,
Never pausing to take a rest....

Knocking hard on Hitler's gate,
Paratroopers would seal his fate....
Twas their job to protect,
Bastogne's borders from conquest....

German armies had amassed,
This breakthrough would be the last....
To reach the Meuse,  to tighten the noose,
To strangle the allies on the loose....

Artillery pounded day and night,
All of Belgium shook with fright....
Twas a mistake,  the Germans thought,
Defending Bastogne,  all would be lost....

"Send the message",  their General said,
"Surrender now or you'll be dead...."
The 101st don't have a chance,
All will die by the Nazi lance....

Fighting sleep and the bitter cold,
The 101st would surely fold....
Low on supplies and ammunition,
They'd surrender without condition....

The only thing he didn't consider,
Screaming Eagles would not wither....
Airborne soldiers tried and tested,
Their fighting spirit would not be bested....

General McAuliffe said one word,
They wouldn't believe what they heard....
What is this,  "NUTS",  he said,
The Germans answered with armor and lead....

Artillery and armor,  shells were cracking,
Nazi Infantry were attacking....
Airborne courage was not lacking,
They'd fight like hell and wait for backing....

Holding on to precious ground,
Inflicting damage with every round....
Airborne soldiers fought and bled,
Winter's snow was turning red....

"The Battered Bastards of Bastogne",
Fought like Belgium was their own....
Hold on they did,  to turn the tide,
To attack when Patton arrived....

Allied armor to lend a hand,
They chased the Nazi's to Rhineland....
Fighting hard as they went,
Their Airborne spirit would not relent....

Fifty years have come and gone,
Time can't diminish what they have done....
"The Battle of the Bulge", was a hard fought one,
Belgium was free and the war was won....

These Paratroopers of World War II,
Fought like hell and saw it through....
Screaming Eagles who fought and bled,
Their fighting spirit will never be dead....

Let us pause and reflect,
To give them honor and respect....
Our fallen brothers,  we'll never forget,
Their sacrifices are part of us yet....

Many crosses stand as a reminder,
Airborne soldiers have never been finer....
Screaming Eagles proud and true,
Defending freedom for me and you....

God bless them all,  for what they've done,
Airborne heroes,  everyone....
Hitler is finished,  the world is free,
Let us celebrate the victory...!

GOD BLESS YOU ALL,  AIRBORNE...!

By Peter S. Griffin




not mine, but dam fine reads.

[Ununoctium]

The time has come,
the war is ending,
axis attack,
allies defending,

we have no goliaths,
no cheap double mine,
all we can do,
is lay some barbed twine.

demo charges,
the enemy can see
boooby traps,
you might as well plea,

goliath super camo,
"we're working on that"
yeah you devs,
put on your remember hat,

its a one way defense,
only axis rewards,
as the bar slowly moves,
the beaches towards.

~Ununoctium

[Unkn0wn]

Where's Smokaz' Tiger poem?

[Baine]

Whine, whine, whine,
that thing is op,
whine, whine, whine,
that thing is up!

We don't have this!
We do need that!
I need a kiss!
Where is my hat?

You don't make sense,
you just don't see it,
your cry immense,
why don't you leave it.

The balance is broken,
in nobodys favour,
EiRmod has spoken,
the best on the labour,

he'll fix it all,
no need to talk bull-
just give him a call,
he'll have fixed it in Fall.

[Ununoctium]

As you requested oh Dark Lord EIRRMOD

Three Buffs for the Axis-kings under the sky,

Seven nerfs the bunkered-lords in their halls of stone,

Nine Buffs for Panzer Elite doomed to die,

One for the Dark Lord on his Jagdpanther throne

In the Land of EiR where the Shadows lie.

One Buff to rule them all, One Buff to find them,

One Buff to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

In the Land of EiR where the Shadows lie.

[Two]

I don't like poems
I find them gay
Oh please do take these poems
away

[Malgoroth]

I turned to the mods
of the axis' despair
but to make bad matters worse
I found the mods weren't there.
(jk btw)

or...

Malgoroth the fanboy said with a sigh
"The Allies have way more OP shit than I"


If I'm not mistaken, the first is a play on a Robert Frost poem

No idea where the second comes from.

[Ununoctium]

Unonoctium,
the armour player,
said "Malgoroth,
don't be a hater"

Armour doc,
all shiny and new,
only buffs,
for units a few,

Buy HE rounds,
on your T17,
or AP rounds,
on your M18.

Buff with buffs,
that have no need,
from ideas,
that dumb threads feed.

On that note: I will playtest HE rounds if somebody promises to refund my PP if its EPIC fail.

[NAQOYQATSI]

Consider my Haiku:

Pinned down by many bullets
A lone ranger pulls out his bazooka
And 1-shots a King Tiger