The Infirmary

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[Lai]

Doc,
Welcome to your new practice! Your long and exemplary career with notable positions, such as from working the down-town ERs of Johannesburg, to your time as a field surgeon in 'Nam, to your stalwart service under 'Doctors Without Borders' in Congo fighting epidemics (and militant locals alike), not mentioning your brief period of unlicensed procuring of organs for sick elderly men in Hong Kong and your unrelenting struggle against the oppressing Ethics boards regarding your controversial research, have convinced us that you indeed is our man for job.

We've acquired all the latest equipment in medicine; including air conditioning in every room and closet, your private handicap toilet and a 72" plasma TV in your office. Unfortunately the money ran out so we've only managed to hire some equipment operators and a junior physician, Lai, to assist you. Lai has a bad attitude, asks pesky questions and has a general tendency not to adhere to the hierarchal nuances in the profession. Long story short; he was the most affordable out there. Don't be flusterd, we've hired a full staff of cute nurses as per agreement.
 
Patients from all over the world have heard of your infamous ability to diagnose on gut instinct and will line up to see you for all types of aches and ailments. The referrals are already piling up, and there's only so many hours on a day, so Lai will have to hand-pick the cases most likely to allure your mind. Best of luck, we expect great things from you!

Signed
Upper Management

Discaimer: the cases to follow here are all fictional. If you somehow, for some reason can identify yourself with a character depicted here, it's in your imagination only. The patient workup will be on a problem-orientated basis with an evolving situation and new information being added as we move on. Basically, I ask questions, you answer, ask questions, examine, order tests and I respond with new information or give hints. This thread is semi-serious, opts to be fun, and hopefully will be interesting as well. To have some structural framework I've decided that after I've responded with a new question or given new information, the enlisted docs have 24h to respond, after which anyone in the public can come with suggestions. To enlist just ask here or by pm. I will decide at my discretion if there are too many sign-ups (a good sense of humour helps).

Enlisted docs:
Dr velocity78
Dr Mysthalin
Dr Baine
Dr Sharpshooter824
Dr Transcription
Dr Groundfire

Teasers:
A boy of 13 years, Rai Fei, from Taiwan enters the examine room with his mother. His worried mother tells you that her son is staying up increasingly late at night by his computer. When she checked RaiFei's computer to see if he had completed his studying for the weekly chinese exam she found pictures of... To be continued.

Nurse Anna, with a devious grin on her face, taps your shoulder to call your attention to a patient: Simon, 22 year-old student, currently back-packing from Norway has a very bizzare symptom... To be continued.

[Lai]

Will start when enough docs and so on

The thread needs a name - suggestions?

Velocity78 aspires to be a doctor and is studying for that purpose, so I assume he's interested.

[Mysthalin]

I want to be a doc too!

Dr. Gregory Lai's Cave of Lies.

[Baine]

I'm doctor Dix, from Scrubs! 

[Smokaz]

Thats 24*

Can one of my symptoms be hostile behavior towards misdirected attempts of humor

Also I'm having problems with the forums lately,

it seems that posts made by users that have the moderator function "hidden" activated

are unable to be viewed in my browser

the remaining function I have is rapidly disappearing

dont cry for me argentina

[Sharpshooter824]

OO! I want to be a dentist, does that count? Both have to go to medical school at least  

[Baine]

Dentists are no real doctors!


Also did nobody get my pun with Dr. Dix? God you guys suck. I diagnose lack of humour in this forum!
You should all get a 50mm dose of adrenalin!

[velocity78]

Will start when enough docs and so on

The thread needs a name - suggestions?

 Velocity78 aspires to be a doctor and is studying for that purpose, so I assume he's interested.

How about Lai M.D?

[Unkn0wn]

Lai M.D sounds good :p

[Two]

wtf

[Lai]

Lai M.D sounds good :p

I'd rather go with a diff name tbh
smt funny, with a zing to it

[Transcription]

I'm a biomedical scientist, i have my final exams this month and will start work in histpathology at the end of the month (yay i actually got a job after five years of university). If your going to be a Dr. thats fine, just dont become a GP. Sure they earn more money and work less hours but pathology is where the real fun is to be had, long hours in the office, long hours on the weekend writing reports in your free time. But on the plus side of things you get to chop people up for a living (if you can stomach the smell and some of the cirucumstances in which death has occured, i've attended many autopsies and always likened the smell too a weird kind of raw chicken. Didnt eat for two days after my first time). And if you can help it try to stay away from the wards and the people in the beds, their dirty, smelly and dieing most of the time, hospitals are generally not nice places so try to avoid the patience, we wouldnt want you to contract necrotizing fasciitis or something would we.

My suggestion for a name........something with 'consultant' in it, and thats my professional opinion, anyone concur ?

[Lai]

I'm a biomedical scientist, i have my final exams this month and will start work in histpathology at the end of the month (yay i actually got a job after five years of university). If your going to be a Dr. thats fine, just dont become a GP. Sure they earn more money and work less hours but pathology is where the real fun is to be had, long hours in the office, long hours on the weekend writing reports in your free time. But on the plus side of things you get to chop people up for a living (if you can stomach the smell and some of the cirucumstances in which death has occured, i've attended many autopsies and always likened the smell too a weird kind of raw chicken. Didnt eat for two days after my first time). And if you can help it try to stay away from the wards and the people in the beds, their dirty, smelly and dieing most of the time, hospitals are generally not nice places so try to avoid the patience, we wouldnt want you to contract necrotizing fasciitis or something would we.

My suggestion for a name........something with 'consultant' in it, and thats my professional opinion, anyone concur ?

Most of the autopsying in Sweden aren't done by the pathologist, at least when there's no suspicion of crime. I'm a student teacher in dissection so the smell isn't a problem. Not too keen on doing a lot of microscopy work, however. Forensic medicine, now that is intriguing, but a bit too morbid for my taste.

[Transcription]

Forensics hmmmm, glamourised by the television way too much, imo sadly there isnt many jobs in forensics in the uk (only seven forensic pathologist for the country), and the other forensic work can land you stairing at hairs down a scope all day . I completely understand your position on microscopy though, cut up is much more interesting even if it only prostates etc

[velocity78]

Lai M.D sounds good :p

I'd rather go with a diff name tbh
smt funny, with a zing to it

hmm, what about The Infirmary

[Lai]

Hmm, not bad. Makes me think of The Armory. Let's go with it for now.

[Lai]

Case 1: Rai Fei

A boy of 13 years, Rai Fei, from Taiwan enters the examine room with his mother. His worried mother tells you that her son is staying up increasingly late at night by his computer. When she checked RaiFei's computer to see if he had completed his studying for the weekly chinese exam she found pictures of naked women, and to her astonishment he had not fully prepared for his weekly chinese exam! Rai Fei is adamant about the pictures being related to the sex-ed class.

Throughout the mother's history presenting Rai Fei gives you poor eye contact, seems disinterested and you can notice tension between mother and son. No apparent psychotic signs. Pregnancy, delivery and neonatal period normal. Birth weight 3216g. Previously healthy apart from a couple of episodes of otitis. Takes no meds as far as his mother knows. No allergies. His mother believes his son has gotten into drugs.

What condition is Rai Fei suffering from?

What is the first symptom of this condition?

Prognosis?

[Mysthalin]

Condition : being a teenager.
Symptoms : growing interest in the opposite sex, felt need to rebel against society(in the form of not preparing for the test), disobedience towards parents, growing tendency to lie in order to preserve social recognition of those around him.
Prognosis : 3-5 years of being a twat. Medicine or other treatment would just make the illness worse.

[Baine]

Condition:Contagious Womanizologistics
Symptoms: no full preparation for chinese weekly test, tension between mother and son, phallus longatus
Prognosis: soon to become asian sterotype, upskirt fotoshopper, schoolgirl fanatic

Case: serious, sidenote: Tumor in his head.

[Smokaz]

Shunning eye contact? Obviously the kid smokes marijuana.