Europe in Ruins plays Chess

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[Sach]

Random EIR Player: I think its bullshit that Knights can jump over pieces like the castle. I mean sure I understand them jumping pawns or even bishops but castles is just ridiculous. Chess is way too gamey, where the realism?


AmPm: The Knight travels 2 paces and has a height of 4. If you divide that by the time taken to think about the piece's move then square root it by its distance travelled in the horizontal you actually find that its perfectly reasonable.

see 2x4/3.6 = 6.453 + 87 / 29 = 4.67 per minute

Osprey: Well historically Knights could jump over small fortifications. Let me refer you to the obscure conflict of 1634 between the lower Danube Hungarians and their Magyar enemies where a small fortification (or castle) was leaped over by a force of Hungarian Knights.

Aloha: What I think is bullshit is that the White Knight can move twice as far as the black Knight and fire laser beams out of its ass.

Everyone else: No it can't.

Smokaz: lengthy essay on the merits and disadvantages of Knights in chess which everyone proceeds to ignore

Another Random EIR member: Maybe the problem is that the castle is not high enough and should be buffed....


and so it begins


feel free to add your own

[Piotrskivich]

I think it is worse that a pawn can turn into a castle if it reaches the enemy side of the board, what is this? Werecastles?

[Baine]

Ununoctium: i think we should buff the castles, because you can't be serious about the towers. We need more doctrine buffs that helps the castle to build better towers and a better defended gate. But after all the black knight will always jump over. I think we need to nerf it.

Draken: L2play with castles.

Tymathee: That is very interesting, did anyone notice that horses can't beat the bishop? I mean wtf, can any dev confirm that?

EirMOD: i liek bananas.

raio: jaie kajfei si fjf posfo mek voe
                     ~raio

Mgallun: You are right, knights should die instantly when trying to jump over castles. That's what it was like in real life!

[Mysthalin]

WindCriesMary : 1000 page report on why the left black castle is 10 times better than the right black castle, and that the colour of the square the castle is standing on should not be applied to it's fighting power.
PQ : wind, learn to write in a readable manner.

Everyone else : yeah! we fell asleep in chapter 12!

[Ununoctium]

Mysthalin: The castle should be buffed, my 8 pawns are better than a castle
Torjado: Nooooooooooooooo im going to yell nooooooo untill the castle gets nerfed because playing against it requires brains.
EiRMOD: everyone stop whinging or ill translate the entire launcher into windings font and you'll never understand it!
Baine: Well here my 3 page post on why winding would damage the EiR community and why you shouldn't do it. P.S. Buff the white Knight so its > black night or else the game is uneven.

[Smokaz]

Mysthalin: Well I run a company with castles and pawnspam only, and I seem to doing very good. (Points to some OP combo company on the leaderboard.) I just ram all my pawns into the knights.
Quite honestly, honestly, I think if we buff castles any more now castle and pawnspam is going to be even more OP.

Random Rattenwaffe member: Why is white castles better than black castles? Why do I have to pay 100 munitions for two black horses when white horses only cost 95 for two?

Akrandas: I thought you were banned from Chess?

[Demon767]

Demon i reckon the tower should be buffed

certain peopleYOUR BIAS OMFG GTFO KTHXBYE

[deadbolt]

Unkn0wn: The chess map i made is simple, flat ground all over. But im working on a new map for the chessboard, its gonna snow and have so much detail. Awesomez.

Baine: LOLOLOLOL

Two: no u

Ununoctium: My knights -armour- needs buffing, BUFF ARMOUR!

EIRMod: Yeah, all will be adressed next patch, it's coming soon.

[pqumsieh]

Wind: After further testing and comparison; if you review the following stats you are likely to come to a similar conclusion as I did. Consider, the blitz black knight has 57 range, 130 damage whereas the TH black knight 60 range and only 110 damage! Clearly the TH black knight should be superior since its doctrine is all about tank buffs.

Smokaz: If you look at the main units in TH you'll see that the bishop and king are what actually get pretty serious buffs. So comparing those two tanks is a bit silly since they clearly are bad examples.

PQ: Lawl

Wind: I would have to disagree with you smokaz. Clearly if the doctrine is dedicated to tanks, all tanks should be superior to all other tanks. You see, this is called a sylogism, but what I havn't realized is that my sylogism has a clearly marked false premise. But I will continue to argue anyways and win by using the following format:

Quote PQ: Lawl - interesting point, but the following (blah blah blah) clearly puts your argument to rest.

Quote Smokaz: pretty serious buffs - yes but they only get them in T4 and T3 (despite the fact that blitz gets their serious buffs at T4 and T3) therefore, your arguement fails.

continue this for another 2 pages.

PQ: I'd have to agree with smokaz on this one

Wind: I realize people dont like it when i post contenciously like the way I do, so Im going to try really hard to avoid it. Finish post by not avoiding it.

PQ: did anyone else just lawl?

Wind: basically fuk you in a very elaberote manner

PQ: lmao, says fuk you in about 300 fewer words back

EIRRMOD: wtf? I think wind just crashed my computer

end post

PQ

[Smokaz]

Woah, somebody just brought a mg42 to a chess game.

[picture] Two babies in a sandbox, one elbowing the other over some grains of sand.[/picture]

[RikiRude]

Oh my god, this has to be the best thread to ever grace these forums!


Akra -Thread cleaned, removed all off topic comments about bishops only being able to move diagonally.

Wher Players - the problem is we don't have anything to disable knights or bishops, and with the added cost on rooks we can't field enough, plus they just get circle strafed anyways.

US players - well just imagine what it's like dealing with pawn spam backed with knights. each pawn we kill makes the rest of the pawns health regen faster and harder to hit. my queen sat there for 20 seconds trying to kill a pawn in rook cover.

[Killer344]

This is starting to get really complicated :/, especially for the people who won't be able to understand what PQ just said lolz.

[Baine]

deadBolt: LOL guys look at the Chess champion leaderboard!
                        www.EuropeInChess.com  First place!

Two: No u.

deadBolt: no u

Akranadas: Check for both of you. See you in two weeks.

BigDick: Black knight should win over pawn, but that's not the case! I told you a month ago!

Aloha:   .... [calm down] ~Das

Killer344: Lol.

Mysthalin: Hey guys all check my epic Pawn spam tactic! Who needs knights and bishops anyway?

salan: Hey guys, i think i found the problem, i somehow changed the castle with bishop and edited the wrong files. I will fix it next time....

Pak88: Wtf, chess? I thought we are playing company of heroes?

All: LOL Pak you fail, have been afk for too long noob!

[Mysthalin]

What's with accusing me of pawn spam all the time?
Yes, I know I pawn ;P.

[Jinker]

What we all REALLY want to know is.....           



Where is the bishop in all of this, and what is he doing with team velocity's rook spam/camp?

[GeneralGlacko]

Dude Vet 3 Pawns FTW, they beat those stupid Vet 3 Queens anyday man.

[bbsmith]

Its about time we nerfed pawn spam. Look at how many you can currently field.

[Baine]

Sach: You guys are doing it all wrong. It can't be that hard! Noobs! I am Sach.

[Smokaz]

Baine: They are not going to ready up.

[GeneralGlacko]

Baine: BTW i didn't bring out the bishop yet guys.