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Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
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Topic: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+? (Read 10303 times)
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Malevolence
Donator
Posts: 1871
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #20 on:
October 22, 2009, 10:19:37 am »
Hitting your kids in very rare circumstances is appropriate in my opinion. Overusing it is child abuse of the highest order but there are some times when it is appropriate.
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Blitzen
EIR Veteran
Posts: 312
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #21 on:
October 22, 2009, 10:22:29 am »
Everything in moderarion mal. You don't punch you kid 50 times for not doing the dishes. But maybe a slap to the hand or something. Thats what I always got, the wooden spoon when I broke rules, and a slap upside the face if I backtalked. I can honestly say I deserved everything I got :p
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Quote from: Two on December 18, 2009, 03:02:20 pm
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Smokaz
Honoured Member
Posts: 11418
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #22 on:
October 22, 2009, 10:27:22 am »
Its a interesting discussion, heres what I think:
Punishment only works in the short run, and doesnt necessarily convey the morality of the action you are being punished for.
If punishment was a effective inhibiter, there wouldnt be so many repeat offenders. Prison is also very costly for the state, and for a lot of repeat offenders its like a college of crime and a place to expand your social connections.
Punishment doesnt have to be physical to be effective and incarceration doesnt solve the problem either it just displaces it.
Another interesting question is how many of these physical corrections you guys are describing are meted out in rage or anger, and how many of them are actual decisions.
If how high education you take is significant to what kind of life you live and how happy you'll end up being, the success/income/education of your parents seems to correlate more than what kind of moral upbringing or punishment you received as a child.
Good caretakers give their childs/teenagers options, they dont limit them. I'm not saying you should promote bad behaviour but a erraticly behaving child decidedly needs more forethought in applying punishment than "lets slap him".
I also have a suspicion that the kind of social network you grow up next to has comparably much to say snouy how you turn out to what kind of the parents you had seen isolated. And like it or not kids choose their own friends, you may distrupt or attempt to steer this into the type of peers you would prefer but in the end they choose their own friends and as adults they will continue to do so.
Another train of thought is what happens when hes an adult and hes used to learning what is wrong by getting physically corrected, its pretty obvious what this implies. Boundaries might not be as observable when theres noone to pull you in the ear.
There's also the fact that we sometimes rosecolour our memories going way back, remembering the time or situations as more acceptable or enjoyable than we might have perceived them as when they actually happened. We also attribute past changes to what we think is right today, like "obviously my father was right hitting me because I think its right to hit children today".
Humans aren't exceedingly logical, or consequential. Whats right today might have been wrong yesterday. Like Dr. House say, "people lie", and they do that both intentionally and without realizing.
«
Last Edit: October 22, 2009, 10:36:02 am by Smokaz
»
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Two
EIR Veteran
Posts: 2079
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #23 on:
October 22, 2009, 10:35:31 am »
Prison is not a punishment tbh.
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Smokaz
Honoured Member
Posts: 11418
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #24 on:
October 22, 2009, 10:36:41 am »
Quote from: Two on October 22, 2009, 10:35:31 am
Prison is not a punishment tbh.
But it originally was intended to be punishment. What it is right now, is hard to say.
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Two
EIR Veteran
Posts: 2079
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #25 on:
October 22, 2009, 10:37:51 am »
Should bring back leaving them in shackles in the town centre to throw rotten fruit at, or a good ole whippin. If i got rotten fruit thrown at me i would steal shit, or if i robbed someone and got whipped i wouldnt do it again.
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Smokaz
Honoured Member
Posts: 11418
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #26 on:
October 22, 2009, 10:39:25 am »
Quote from: Two on October 22, 2009, 10:37:51 am
Should bring back leaving them in shackles in the town centre to throw rotten fruit at, or a good ole whippin. If i got rotten fruit thrown at me i would steal shit, or if i robbed someone and got whipped i wouldnt do it again.
Does that mean punishment makes you aversive to steal, or getting caught? Ever wondered why people hide facts from other people, or why kids hide facts from their parents?
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Falcon333
EIR Veteran
Posts: 1125
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #27 on:
October 22, 2009, 10:42:11 am »
Quote from: Smokaz on October 22, 2009, 10:39:25 am
Ever wondered why people hide facts from other people, or why kids hide facts from their parents?
To not get punished?
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Smokaz
Honoured Member
Posts: 11418
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #28 on:
October 22, 2009, 10:43:59 am »
Quote from: Falcon333 on October 22, 2009, 10:42:11 am
Quote from: Smokaz on October 22, 2009, 10:39:25 am
Ever wondered why people hide facts from other people, or why kids hide facts from their parents?
To not get punished?
Correct! But the need to hide a fact in this situation, implies that you are at fault. Therefore the punishment is being avoided because the punishment itself is disagreeable, not because you regret your action or have learned why its wrong to do so.
You might have actually understood that its "wrong", but if you know the action is going to be punished because its wrong, that means you still broke the rules knowing about the punishment. How can we then say that punishment is effective at stopping people from breaking the rules?
«
Last Edit: October 22, 2009, 10:46:00 am by Smokaz
»
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Groundfire
EIRR community manager
EIR Veteran
Posts: 8511
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #29 on:
October 22, 2009, 10:44:48 am »
Are we still talking about kids and internet violence, or real consequences like felonies landing you in prison?
Kids dont go to prison btw, they got to juvie.
@ smokaz
Yes there is a difference between disiplinary physical contact, and beatings.
My parents are college grads., in engineering and marketing, they make 100k a year, and i assure you that did not influence their choice to ground me over to physically disipline me.
I got grounded when I finally had something valuable to be taken away. But then again, you have some kids who have nothing that they care about, or they just dont care period.
So, physical disipline does work in the long term, as a specific measure.
Example.
When I was 8, I hit my brother with a golf club once, and my ass got beat.
I dont know why I did it, all i know is that I no longer swing golf clubs at people.
If it's not a severe offense, then I do get other options. Extra chores, etc, but there is just some times where you gotta lay down the law.
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Baine
Steven Spielberg
Posts: 3713
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #30 on:
October 22, 2009, 10:52:00 am »
If someone wants to do something, nothing is stopping him from doing it. You can threaten him with punishment, as long as he is able to do it and he wants to do it, he will do it.
The fact is, you can only try to appeal to their Intellect/mind/sense. That and their conscience are the only things that can stop one from doing shit over and over.
If punishment doesn't help, show them sorrow. Make them have pity for others.
«
Last Edit: October 22, 2009, 10:55:13 am by Baine
»
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Smokaz
Honoured Member
Posts: 11418
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #31 on:
October 22, 2009, 10:57:14 am »
Empathy unless you have a neurological or psychological disorder is something everyone has, why do you think guys eyes roll around in their head and clutch their balls when the see some guy on TV get his balls kicked?
Understanding why something is a dumb or wrong action beats punishment every time. Cold War anyone?
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Groundfire
EIRR community manager
EIR Veteran
Posts: 8511
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #32 on:
October 22, 2009, 11:10:58 am »
So it should always be "Im not mad, im just dissapointed"?
Different children respond to parental dissapline in different ways.
Im not mad, im dissapointed is ok sometimes, but in most cases it's the pussy way out.
There comes a point where your child just wont care what you think if your dissapointed with him all the time.
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EscforrealityTLS
EIR Veteran
Posts: 593
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #33 on:
October 22, 2009, 11:24:49 am »
Then beat him with a stick until he fears your disappointment.
No really "disappointment" should always be coupled with some form of punishment.
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Smokaz
Honoured Member
Posts: 11418
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #34 on:
October 22, 2009, 11:37:46 am »
Parents arent forced to respond the same way or through the same method every time, lol. I thought part of spawning a little gremlin was taking interest in what happens to it.
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Killer344
The Inquisitor
Posts: 6904
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #35 on:
October 22, 2009, 12:09:34 pm »
Quote from: Baine on October 22, 2009, 09:23:55 am
I would say that everyone in here(incl myself) has had a strict education in terms of, "
you don't listen you get beaten
"
Will you do the same with your kids or not?
LOL, it would be so fun to do that here.
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Baine
Steven Spielberg
Posts: 3713
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #36 on:
October 22, 2009, 12:12:47 pm »
With electroshocks over the internet maybe
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FailHammer
EIR Veteran
Posts: 312
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #37 on:
October 22, 2009, 02:47:15 pm »
@ smokaz- punishment is meant to be a detterant not a moral lesson. the larger moral lesson is society doesnt approve of that shit and will punish you for it. the lesson you teach your kid by example, parable, communication, et fn c.
@ the young kids on the internet- ive grown up watching gory war movies and playing wolfenstein, doom etc. I am only violent on the internet and the bedroom. but then again i played sports.
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Demon767
Warmap Betatester
EIR Veteran
Posts: 6190
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #38 on:
October 22, 2009, 03:23:18 pm »
slapped the child, worked for me and look how i turned out
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BradAnderson
EIR Veteran
Posts: 1233
Re: Kids on the net? Where do you Stand as Gamers of 18+?
«
Reply #39 on:
October 22, 2009, 03:42:05 pm »
I personally find punishment, well useless, i just fucking took it and did the exact same thing i got punished for after my beatings were done. The whole i'm so dissapointed in you fucks me up...
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