Story: EIRR Battle Chatter

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[Tymathee]

EIRR: Battle Chatter…

M-10: “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….”
Tiger: “Haha, that was a good one. Stupid Wolverine, trying to flank us! We are vet 3!!!!”
American Commander (AC): “Stupid effin OP s***. I’m going to kill that effin Tiger.”
British Commander (BC): “…”
WM Commander (WC): “Lol Tiger 10, Allies 0.”
PE Commander (PC): “Nice! How did you get that Tiger?”
WC: “It doesn’t matter, watch our flank.”
PC: “I’m calling in more scout cars to scout. That’s what they’re for right?”
WC: “WTF? Do they have machine guns?”
PC: “Yup!”
AC: “Okay, I’m bringing in my hvap pershing and some stickies, let’s kill that thing.”
BC: “…”
Pershing: “Wooo, HVAP upgrade, when did we get these in?”
Rofles: “FFS, we have an idiot for a commander, where’s our bars? No grenades? Just stickies…Prepare to die boys”
BC brings out vet 3 firefly, vet 3 cct, an mmg bren , recon and bren tommy
AC: “Holee…nice.”
BC: “lol”
Tiger: “It’s quiet, I think we scared the allies away. They’re giving up.”
Ninja: “No, they’re coming.”
Scout Car: “Hi ho, hi ho, off to cap we go.”
Vet 3 Tiger: “What do you see?”
Ninja: “Pershing, and a Sherman, I don’t know what kind all I can see is it’s butt.”
Foom, foom, foom, foom
Firefly: “Where the, wtf, engine damaged! I can’t hold her in there.”
BC: “Sh…get outta there.”
WC: “Hahahaha, go ninja go ninja go.”

To be continued….

I know it sucks, but meh. I thought I’d try something different.

I may try something else later.

[MorkaandBorka]

But why...are we supposed to implement this?

[Fingertrapped]

Vet 3 tym tank:
"Got some chicken in spawn, not leaving here"

[Tymathee]

But why...are we supposed to implement this?

implement what? its just a story...you never heard of fan fiction?

i've wanted to write something eirrish for a while but couldn't think of anything so i just started to write.

anyone have any ideas? i can write from any perspective, commander, unit, tank, vehicle, multiple etc.

[WildZontar]

What?

[Vermillion_Hawk]

Unamusing and erratic. Like most fanfiction.

[Mister Schmidt]

Like Vermillion!

[Spartan_Marine88]

Would only be funny if you built a story using only ACTUAL ingame chatter.


example

Sniper: im taking the shot

motorcycle: MOTORCYCLE IS FUUUUUUUUCKED!

[Vermillion_Hawk]

I can tell you put volumes of thought and effort into that, Schmidt, that cuts deep. For one who goes around telling people to act more mature you seem to adhere most admirably to your own principals.

[Fingertrapped]

Hawkins just shot you down mr messerSchmidt.

[Mister Schmidt]

I don't need to talk Shakespeare style to make my point my friend!

[Vermillion_Hawk]

You, in fact, have a remarkable talent for saying a lot and not making any point at all. The only thing you have accomplished is to amusingly divert this topic to something of only slightly less value than the original thread.

[Mister Schmidt]

You mean you?

[Spartan_Marine88]

Can you both just fuck off, vermillion thread could turn out interesting at least give it a chance. Schmidt your failing at insulting vermillion so fuck off and take it elsewhere.

[Vermillion_Hawk]

Your utter inability to form a coherent or original insult applicable off the average child's schoolyard and your relentless commitment to act like an idiot preceding my posts tells much about your insecurities, Schmidt.

I apologize, and I think the story originally presented is very, very roughshod, but perhaps someone else could indeed turn out something interesting.

[RikiRude]

story should use real battle chatter from players as well, and actually make it a story.


It was a mild spring day on our way to nueville, the CO said we were in for a rough time, the WM army we were about to face were using a new blitz strategy. I was in command of a .30 cal machine gun squad, Robert was the SL of a rifleman squad there to support our flank. There were some grenediers, that seemed to be much better trained then our men... then it happened. As we began firing the incoming soldiers seemed to laugh at our machine gun fire, they finally became suppressed and began to crawl. Then with out warning they all got up and ran towards our position, Robert started screaming, "This is some OP shit man! WTF, we are using suppressing fire on those things and they are still coming!" our machine gun did nothing, then a volley of grenades came our way, kill the gunner and ammunition man, so I picked up the gun and kept running. Those crazy kraut bastards kept following me and Robert kept yelling, "Yo WTF man, it's like they aren't taking any damage, this is stupid, EIRRMod needs to tone this bullshit T4 down, elite armor AND assault nades, what a bunch of shit!" I turned around to see one man left in the grenedier squad with Roberts riflemen shooting, it looked as if that poor lone soldier couldn't handle much more, then he reached to his side, grabbed a potato masher in each hand and hurled them, the last thing I remember before the blast was Robert voice, "Jesus shit fuck, how many god damned volleys do they get? Such fucking bullshit, it took us 15 seconds just to kill a gren squad, that shit is way too OP, this is stupid I quit."

[Tymathee]

Would only be funny if you built a story using only ACTUAL ingame chatter.


example

Sniper: im taking the shot

motorcycle: MOTORCYCLE IS FUUUUUUUUCKED!

I wanted to do that. I don't have any of the lines, but thats def something i'm going to do. Keep in mind, i did this in like 30 minutes while at work.

Your utter inability to form a coherent or original insult applicable off the average child's schoolyard and your relentless commitment to act like an idiot preceding my posts tells much about your insecurities, Schmidt.

I apologize, and I think the story originally presented is very, very roughshod, but perhaps someone else could indeed turn out something interesting.

it's kind of a draft, liek i said at the end i said i know it sux. I'm actually a good writer.

http://www.rantsports.com/los-angeles-dodgers/

this is just a blog but i do good fiction as well, which i only show friends and family cuz i dont want my ideas stolen.

I'm working on something else right now. writing from the pov of a guy in a rifle squad.

[Spartan_Marine88]

also what might be funny, if you can find the sound clips online use them to tell the story. Although that would be a huge undertaking due to the 800+ sound files lol

[Tymathee]

that's a bit much lol

this is how i've started on my next endeaver

I lay back on the staircase of a blown out house and stared at the light shining through the roof and I wondered how it got there. Artillery? Plane crash? Bomb? Heck, a tree could’ve fallen through but there wasn’t much evidence as to what happened so I closed my eyes let the sun bath me enjoying the peace before we hit the lines.