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The parabolic EIR effect
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Topic: The parabolic EIR effect (Read 24513 times)
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Contaminator
EIR Veteran
Posts: 161
The parabolic EIR effect
«
on:
November 22, 2011, 02:58:21 am »
Today/last night I participated in several games. Unfortunately it was a night of horrible roflfest for the axis community. My poor vet units I had nursed from wee little pee ons were quickly decimated by trolol Pzr II's, Flames, and the magical red smoke that brings the doom. Amongst the chaos I could almost feel the spirit of the EIR gods turning their gaze from me... Disappointed in my performance.
In their place grew a hatred. I desire to launch my poor computer several miles into the air and watch it gloriously vaporize when it reconnected itself with the ground. In what was to be my final game of the evening I swore that if this game went as poorly as the others EIR would be out of my life for possibly another year.
But what was this?! A victory! somewhat cheapened by the loss of two of the axis team through drops (one early and one late). But a victory non the less! My hope was rekindled that there might be some justice in EIR and ensured that, at least for the time being... EIR will continue to be my crack, my opium, my curse.
This is the parabolic EIR effect. Right before you rage and quit... it gives you a taste of the good stuff... takes you to the brink... but always brings you back. Making it all the sweeter.
Logged
Quote from: Tymathee on January 30, 2012, 04:57:43 pm
the nashorn is like a kid with a giant penis, it has no idea how to use it or where to point it most of the time but it could still fuck you
Malgoroth
Donator
Posts: 960
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #1 on:
November 22, 2011, 03:46:12 am »
Sounds accurate enough I suppose.
The main reason I keep returning to CoH and EiR after all these years is because there is no other game out there where winning is more satisfying or losing more infuriating.
It is a game of constant extremes. Hence my unholy, blasphemy laden, profane and obscene rage.
Logged
Smokaz
Honoured Member
Posts: 11418
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #2 on:
November 22, 2011, 04:36:05 am »
What you are experiencing is the timid beginnings of the Spirit of Vengance.
Stomped by a million condescending, unruly and dominant EIRR internet warlords a seed of greatness has been impregnated in you.
You are feeling growth, perspiration and anally retentiveness. Every mistake will be undone and erased from creation. Every slight will be revenged! Every opponent will be crushed, his vet taken from him, his chronies humiliated and the replay forum filled with landmarks of your victim holocausts!
"L2P" is like a Auswitcz tattoo on your arm, a mark of the survivor.
Somewhere beyond the rainbow, beyond the calliope barrages is a casket of pure vet 3 gold commanding you forward.
You see in your mind your own EIRR persona, your own company of frankenflop campaign tards serving your will on the forums and in the launcher chat. You see yourself cast down the heroes of old and sit on the iron throne, admitting defeat to none, giving not a moments pause to consider if a tactic is too lame or idiotic to succeed. No stack plays henchman enough to your Bossyness.
Somewhere inside you is a Mysthalin.. a Bigdick....something vile, blind and passive-aggressive.
February is when you will have seized greatness!
«
Last Edit: November 22, 2011, 04:37:45 am by Smokaz
»
Logged
SlippedHerTheBigOne: big penis puma
SlippedHerTheBigOne: and i have no repairkits
SlippedHerTheBigOne: ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡)
Computer991
Donator
Posts: 1219
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #3 on:
November 22, 2011, 04:40:39 am »
I'm sorry you had to read that.
J/k that shit was a master piece.
«
Last Edit: November 22, 2011, 04:46:13 am by Computer991
»
Logged
Mysthalin
Tired King of Stats
Posts: 9028
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #4 on:
November 22, 2011, 04:54:27 am »
Hey, I may be vile and passive-aggressive smokaz, but I'm not blind.
I can still read.
Logged
Demon767
Warmap Betatester
EIR Veteran
Posts: 6190
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #5 on:
November 22, 2011, 05:06:31 am »
Contaminator has been inducted by the fiery flames of hell as is commonly known as the metagame, into our society.
Thou will hold the honour of being named 'troll' by your own brethren.
envied by the COH clans
Hated by the weak OMG clan
Loved by women
You are a true son of Skyrim.
Logged
Generalleutnant of The Reichs Wolves
Nevergetsputonlistguy767
Unkn0wn
No longer retired
Posts: 18379
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #6 on:
November 22, 2011, 05:52:37 am »
Wrong game bra
Logged
spinn72
EIR Veteran
Posts: 1802
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #7 on:
November 22, 2011, 07:23:24 am »
Quote from: Unkn0wn on November 22, 2011, 05:52:37 am
Wrong game bra
Skyrim is good, EIRR is good, I call close enough!
Logged
nugnugx
Donator
Posts: 4051
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #8 on:
November 22, 2011, 07:26:07 am »
Quote from: Smokaz on November 22, 2011, 04:36:05 am
Somewhere inside you is a Mysthalin.. a Bigdick....something vile, blind and passive-aggressive.
best sig material ever ?
Logged
shockcoil
griefer & spammer
EIR Veteran
Posts: 1566
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #9 on:
November 22, 2011, 07:46:21 am »
So... EIR fanfic by Smokaz anyone?
Logged
Smokaz
Honoured Member
Posts: 11418
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #10 on:
November 22, 2011, 09:01:38 am »
Quote from: shockcoil on November 22, 2011, 07:46:21 am
So... EIR fanfic by Smokaz anyone?
"Seeing Bigdick in his full sado mask attire, David couldn't help but feel a tingle in his special place.."
Logged
RikiRude
Donator
Posts: 4376
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #11 on:
November 22, 2011, 09:59:53 am »
this is great, you truly said it smokaz.
there is a point where L2P makes you say "but i know how to play, i know what im doing, things just arent balanced" then once you realize your folly and actually L2P it's like being baptized by fire, you see the error in yourself and set out to improve and get better!
now i can say ive learned to play, and your fucking bullshit OP spam is a crock you no good bastard of a whore! but... GG.
Logged
Quote from: Killer344
Killer344: "Repent: sory no joke i just had savage diorea"
Quote from: Malgoroth on October 10, 2011, 05:03:49 pm
... or a fat ass cock sucking churchill being stupid
smurfORnot
EIR Veteran
Posts: 4715
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #12 on:
November 22, 2011, 10:02:10 am »
then you make your spam,each spam has counter spam
Logged
Tymathee
Donator
Posts: 9741
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #13 on:
November 22, 2011, 12:18:12 pm »
lol thats EIR. Like the game i played last night, I started horrid, i raged, i spat horrible obenaties at my opponent (especially after he off mapped my vet 3 recon with a rocket arty) but alas, as the game went on, my skill returned, i thought clearer and victory was sweet.
you will rage, no doubt about it, it will happen but victori is sooo sweeet.
Logged
Quote from: nikomas on October 04, 2012, 09:26:33 pm
"I want proof!"
"I have proof!"
"Whatever, I'm still right"
Dafuq man, don't ask for proof if you'll refuse it if it's not in your favor, logic fallacy for the bloody win.
RikiRude
Donator
Posts: 4376
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #14 on:
November 22, 2011, 12:35:17 pm »
i agree, when i win, i feel on top of the world, especially if i felt that odds were up against me.
Logged
hans
EIR Veteran
Posts: 3497
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #15 on:
November 22, 2011, 12:36:20 pm »
Quote from: RikiRude on November 22, 2011, 12:35:17 pm
i agree, when i win, i feel on top of the world, especially if i felt that odds were up against me.
u found the sense of the game?
Logged
Quote from: brn4meplz on May 06, 2013, 01:52:31 pm
Also, bad analogy ground, My vegetables never pissed on my ego when I decided they defeated me and gave up on dessert.
MorkaandBorka
EIR Veteran
Posts: 1464
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #16 on:
November 22, 2011, 01:43:36 pm »
Quote from: Smokaz on November 22, 2011, 04:36:05 am
What you are experiencing is the timid beginnings of the Spirit of Vengance.
Stomped by a million condescending, unruly and dominant EIRR internet warlords a seed of greatness has been impregnated in you.
You are feeling growth, perspiration and anally retentiveness. Every mistake will be undone and erased from creation. Every slight will be revenged! Every opponent will be crushed, his vet taken from him, his chronies humiliated and the replay forum filled with landmarks of your victim holocausts!
"L2P" is like a Auswitcz tattoo on your arm, a mark of the survivor.
Somewhere beyond the rainbow, beyond the calliope barrages is a casket of pure vet 3 gold commanding you forward.
You see in your mind your own EIRR persona, your own company of frankenflop campaign tards serving your will on the forums and in the launcher chat. You see yourself cast down the heroes of old and sit on the iron throne, admitting defeat to none, giving not a moments pause to consider if a tactic is too lame or idiotic to succeed. No stack plays henchman enough to your Bossyness.
Somewhere inside you is a Mysthalin.. a Bigdick....something vile, blind and passive-aggressive.
February is when you will have seized greatness!
Best thing everrrr
Logged
I'm really bad - Smokaz
Contaminator
EIR Veteran
Posts: 161
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #17 on:
November 22, 2011, 02:32:03 pm »
^ +1
thoroughly entertained
Logged
hans
EIR Veteran
Posts: 3497
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #18 on:
November 22, 2011, 02:57:31 pm »
Quote from: Contaminator on November 22, 2011, 02:32:03 pm
^ +1
thoroughly entertained
enter... forgot the word, although nice +1
Logged
AmPM
Community Mapper
Posts: 7978
Re: The parabolic EIR effect
«
Reply #19 on:
November 22, 2011, 03:03:10 pm »
"I must not fail. Fail is the mind-killer. Fail is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my noobiness. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fail has gone there will be win. Only I will remain."
Also, Skyrim applies to all games.
Logged
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