FAITHFUL COMRADES, CURIOUS ONLOOKERS, AND BOURGIOUSIE IMPERIALISTS:
IT HAS COME TO MY RECENT ATTENTION THAT THE PROLETERIAT ARE ONCE AGAIN BEING ROUNDED UP BY THE VILE NOBLES IN AN ACT THAT CAN BE VIEWED AS NOTHING OTHER THAN OPPRESSION.
THE BANNING OF THE SMURFS.
AS THE PATRICIAN LEADER HIMSELF PUT IT:
22 accounts were deleted.
THIS CANNOT STAND. AS ANY GOOD COMRADE WHO READS HIS BOOK OF QUOTATIONS FROM CHAIRMAN MASSACREE DAILY WILL CERTAINLY REMEMBER:
Smurfing is the heart of eir. Smurfing embodies everything eir stands for. How can you take that away? How can you crush the hopes and dreams of millions of players? Removing smurfing from eir is like removing suppresion from coh - its what makes coh such a dynamic, interesting, and tactical game. Likewise, removing smurfing leads to the drudgery of always knowing who your opponent is, and being able to accurately predict their skill. What's more exciting than sitting a game, waiting to be stomped by smokaz, and then having LoveLeiarede join as a smurf, just overthrowing the conventional order?
Smurfing is the ultimate proletarian ideal - masking the downtrodden into a giant conglomeration, a huddled mass of power. It prevents the patricians from stomping any no name team sitting in a 2v2, lest they be smurfs in disguise. Furthermore, smurfing allows the proletariat to lure the bourgiousie elite into games they would normally dodge, and ambush them. This is the only way to defeat the patriacians in battle.
THIS IS ANOTHER ATTACK ON THE OPPRESSED CLASS.
SMURFS OF THE WORLD UNITE! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR MAINS!
