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Author Topic: Funny lifetime storys.  (Read 7270 times)
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TheIcelandicManiac Offline
Resident forum troll. Fucked unkn0wns mom
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Posts: 6294


« on: July 13, 2011, 05:45:06 pm »

Well i was reading Ghosts story on the launcher and i got an great idea.


If you have any funny lifetime storys and tips you could give to the younger people of the community post them here, i personaly havent had any exiting times of my life exept when i got robed that one time in denmark and punched a polish guy but do tell.
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gj icelandic i am proud of u  Smiley
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Hicks58 Offline
Development
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Posts: 5343



« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2011, 05:51:31 pm »

Wouldn't mind adding to this, but my life story is somewhat mundane and somewhat grim in some parts. Nothing really funny to be fair. Well, apart from having one of my brothers run at me full force with one of those space hoppers when I was younger - Sent me through next doors fence where I promptly started waving to their window and started laughing. Good times.

Some of the characters we have on this forum though, it's got to have been a funny ride to have made some of our more egocentric fellows here.
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I mean I know Obama was the first one in EiR to get a card. and tbfh the Race card is pretty OP. but Romney has the K.K.K., those guys seem to camo anywhere. So OP units from both sides.
At the end of the day, however, stormtroopers finally got the anal invasion with a cactus they have richly deserved for years.
brn4meplz Offline
Misinformation Officer
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« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2011, 05:53:05 pm »

I've got too many to remember. There usually has to be a situation the jogs my memory of an event.
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He thinks Tactics is a breath mint

Wow I think that was the nicest thing brn ever posted!  Tongue

the pussy of a prostitute is not tight enough for destroy a condom Wink
Mysthalin Offline
Tired King of Stats
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Posts: 9028


« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2011, 05:57:34 pm »

I became world ruler once, but then reversed the mind control machine once I got bored of putting cucumbers up unknown's bum.
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deadbolt Offline
Probably Banned
EIR Veteran
Posts: 4410



« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2011, 06:47:14 pm »

i remember tryna nail my ex gf in the sea in dubai. but it was a man made island and i fell of the edge of it into deep sea, and she lost her bikini bottoms, so i had to fetch her new ones from the hotel. it was so obviously clear what we was doing it was rather fail, but epic win at the same time.
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DERDBERT
Like Jesus, Keeps died for us

He made a funny thread for bear, and got banned.

Now bear makes his own funny thread. It's unsurprisingly not funny.

Keeps died for our funny threads.
Katusha Offline
EIR Veteran
Posts: 989



« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2011, 06:51:54 pm »

i remember tryna nail my ex gf in the sea in dubai. but it was a man made island and i fell of the edge of it into deep sea, and she lost her bikini bottoms, so i had to fetch her new ones from the hotel. it was so obviously clear what we was doing it was rather fail, but epic win at the same time.

lol did she try to save you with her bikini bottoms, but then she let go so you and her panties fell in the sea?

i dont even know....
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Demon767 Offline
Warmap Betatester
EIR Veteran
Posts: 6190



« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2011, 06:55:54 pm »

lol did she try to save you with her bikini bottoms, but then she let go so you and her panties fell in the sea?

i dont even know....

that's very poetic hahaha
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Generalleutnant of The Reichs Wolves

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Groundfire Offline
EIRR community manager
EIR Veteran
Posts: 8511



« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2011, 07:26:34 pm »

lol did she try to save you with her bikini bottoms, but then she let go so you and her panties fell in the sea?

i dont even know....

oh oh oh! I know this one!





Ending scene from Titanic?
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Unkn0wn Offline
No longer retired
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Posts: 18379


« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2011, 07:28:46 pm »

i remember tryna nail my ex gf in the sea in dubai. but it was a man made island and i fell of the edge of it into deep sea, and she lost her bikini bottoms, so i had to fetch her new ones from the hotel. it was so obviously clear what we was doing it was rather fail, but epic win at the same time.

Did you know they can put you in jail for just kissing in public in Dubai?
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EIRRMod Offline
Administrator / Lead Developer
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« Reply #9 on: July 13, 2011, 07:37:25 pm »

I've got too many to remember. There usually has to be a situation the jogs my memory of an event.
Wow.

Im right here with brn on this one.  The situation that jogs my memories is usually copious amounts of alcohol - which has the reverse effect of me trying to FORGET them.
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Quote from: brn4meplz
Shit I'm pretty sure you could offer the guy a cup of coffee and he'd try to kill you with the mug if you forgot sugar.
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That's like offering Beer to fuck the fat chick. It will work for a while, but it's not gonna last. Not only that, but there is zero motivation for the Fat chick to loose weight.
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Katusha Offline
EIR Veteran
Posts: 989



« Reply #10 on: July 13, 2011, 08:14:18 pm »

oh oh oh! I know this one!





Ending scene from Titanic?

holy shizzle, i wasn't even thinking about Titanic  Cheesy
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deadbolt Offline
Probably Banned
EIR Veteran
Posts: 4410



« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2011, 05:29:52 am »

Did you know they can put you in jail for just kissing in public in Dubai?

yeah, even for holding hands. but this was within the confines of the hotel grounds.
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TheIcelandicManiac Offline
Resident forum troll. Fucked unkn0wns mom
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Posts: 6294


« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2011, 05:57:19 am »

Wow.

Im right here with brn on this one.  The situation that jogs my memories is usually copious amounts of alcohol - which has the reverse effect of me trying to FORGET them.

I've got too many to remember. There usually has to be a situation the jogs my memory of an event.

Well please go jogging sometimes and come here and post the storys  Wink
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Malgoroth Offline
Donator
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Posts: 960


« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2011, 07:26:30 am »

I was a junior in high school, and every other day my first was class was science. The teachers name was coach Floyd and he was a rather popular teacher among students because just about every day he'd put on videos for us to watch that went over whatever it was we were supposed to be learning rather than teach it himself (American education system ftw). He was the kind of teacher who just didn't give a shit. This was perfect for me since movie + lights off + first period + "teacher" = fucking nap time. Every day where I had that class, without fail, there would be a video and I could catch up on the sleep I didn't get the night before, and since this was only a month into the school year my body wasn't yet ready to wake up before 12pm. One day I arrived to class and proceeded to pass out as I usually did and after about an hour I woke up to a dead silent, completely engrossed classroom gazing speechlessly at some intriguing images on the TV. On the screen were 2 skyscrapers engulfed in flames and shots of panicked, frightened people either gazing up at the sky, or fleeing in terror. This seemed much more interesting than the typical crap we watched in that class so rather excitedly I asked "Ah cool! What movie is this??"    
« Last Edit: July 14, 2011, 07:28:13 am by Malgoroth » Logged
TheVolskinator Offline
Administrator / Lead Developer
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Posts: 3012



« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2011, 07:55:53 am »

MMkay, so you all know that Im employed at a local boathouse (or should :| ). A few years back a damn funny joke we had was "Find the smell." Boathouse smelled like a goat's ass and nobody could figure out why. About 2 months into the spring/summer season, our staff director told us to go under the boathouse building its self and take a look at the plumbing. Got there, looked fine, but one spot in the piping smelled absolutely shit terrible and had a small leak. After about an hour of trying to remove the damned piping we finally got it off only to discover what the hell was clogging the pipe. There was a giant wad of paper with a single dollar bill sticking out of one side, with a huge lot of backed up shit (literally) behind it. Traviss, a co-worker, pointed at it and said "Shit guys...that's a poop dolla'. "

Every day for the last 4 years, someone has made a poop dolla joke at the boathouse.
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Mister Schmidt Offline
Lawmaker
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Posts: 5006



« Reply #15 on: July 14, 2011, 08:05:58 am »

This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute up my pussy.
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velocity78 Offline
EIR Veteran
Posts: 190



« Reply #16 on: July 14, 2011, 08:08:19 am »

This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute up my pussy.

sounds like something out of American Pie
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3rdCondor- just hand out reward points and ppl will shut up 
tank130-How about people shut up and we hand out reward points... just a thought

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Smurf has a serious fucking problem..
Mister Schmidt Offline
Lawmaker
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Posts: 5006



« Reply #17 on: July 14, 2011, 08:11:07 am »

It is Cheesy
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PonySlaystation Offline
EIR Veteran
Posts: 4136



« Reply #18 on: July 14, 2011, 08:19:30 am »

Did you know they can put you in jail for just kissing in public in Dubai?

yeah, even for holding hands.

But, but WHY??!!
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Sharks are not monsters Henley, they are cute, cuddly and misunderstood. They love humans. sometimes they love TOO much. They love people so much that sometimes their kisses separate people into two flailing pieces which are consumed by other sharks in a frenzy of peace and joy.
deadbolt Offline
Probably Banned
EIR Veteran
Posts: 4410



« Reply #19 on: July 14, 2011, 08:24:20 am »

cos theyre arabs tbh.
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