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Funny lifetime storys.
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Topic: Funny lifetime storys. (Read 7298 times)
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TheIcelandicManiac
Resident forum troll. Fucked unkn0wns mom
Posts: 6294
Funny lifetime storys.
«
on:
July 13, 2011, 05:45:06 pm »
Well i was reading Ghosts story on the launcher and i got an great idea.
If you have any funny lifetime storys and tips you could give to the younger people of the community post them here, i personaly havent had any exiting times of my life exept when i got robed that one time in denmark and punched a polish guy but do tell.
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Quote from: Grundwaffe
Soon™
Quote from: Shabtajus on May 18, 2013, 02:16:45 am
gj icelandic i am proud of u
Quote from: aeroblade56 on June 21, 2013, 11:47:37 am
Sometimes its like PQ doesnt carrot all.
Work Harder
Hicks58
Development
Posts: 5343
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #1 on:
July 13, 2011, 05:51:31 pm »
Wouldn't mind adding to this, but my life story is somewhat mundane and somewhat grim in some parts. Nothing really funny to be fair. Well, apart from having one of my brothers run at me full force with one of those space hoppers when I was younger - Sent me through next doors fence where I promptly started waving to their window and started laughing. Good times.
Some of the characters we have on this forum though, it's got to have been a funny ride to have made some of our more egocentric fellows here.
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Quote from: brn4meplz on November 05, 2012, 10:45:05 am
I mean I know Obama was the first one in EiR to get a card. and tbfh the Race card is pretty OP. but Romney has the K.K.K., those guys seem to camo anywhere. So OP units from both sides.
Quote from: Mysthalin on March 27, 2014, 04:57:09 pm
At the end of the day, however, stormtroopers finally got the anal invasion with a cactus they have richly deserved for years.
brn4meplz
Misinformation Officer
Posts: 6952
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #2 on:
July 13, 2011, 05:53:05 pm »
I've got too many to remember. There usually has to be a situation the jogs my memory of an event.
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He thinks Tactics is a breath mint
Quote from: Unkn0wn on July 31, 2012, 03:50:15 am
Wow I think that was the nicest thing brn ever posted!
Quote from: Bear on June 19, 2013, 01:24:59 pm
the pussy of a prostitute is not tight enough for destroy a condom
Mysthalin
Tired King of Stats
Posts: 9028
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #3 on:
July 13, 2011, 05:57:34 pm »
I became world ruler once, but then reversed the mind control machine once I got bored of putting cucumbers up unknown's bum.
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deadbolt
Probably Banned
EIR Veteran
Posts: 4410
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #4 on:
July 13, 2011, 06:47:14 pm »
i remember tryna nail my ex gf in the sea in dubai. but it was a man made island and i fell of the edge of it into deep sea, and she lost her bikini bottoms, so i had to fetch her new ones from the hotel. it was so obviously clear what we was doing it was rather fail, but epic win at the same time.
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DERDBERT
Quote from: jackmccrack on August 03, 2014, 01:58:51 pm
Like Jesus, Keeps died for us
He made a funny thread for bear, and got banned.
Now bear makes his own funny thread. It's unsurprisingly not funny.
Keeps died for our funny threads.
Katusha
EIR Veteran
Posts: 989
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #5 on:
July 13, 2011, 06:51:54 pm »
Quote from: deadbolt on July 13, 2011, 06:47:14 pm
i remember tryna nail my ex gf in the sea in dubai. but it was a man made island and i fell of the edge of it into deep sea, and she lost her bikini bottoms, so i had to fetch her new ones from the hotel. it was so obviously clear what we was doing it was rather fail, but epic win at the same time.
lol did she try to save you with her bikini bottoms, but then she let go so you and her panties fell in the sea?
i dont even know....
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Demon767
Warmap Betatester
EIR Veteran
Posts: 6190
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #6 on:
July 13, 2011, 06:55:54 pm »
Quote from: Katusha on July 13, 2011, 06:51:54 pm
lol did she try to save you with her bikini bottoms,
but then she let go so you and her panties fell in the sea?
i dont even know....
that's very poetic hahaha
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Generalleutnant of The Reichs Wolves
Nevergetsputonlistguy767
Groundfire
EIRR community manager
EIR Veteran
Posts: 8511
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #7 on:
July 13, 2011, 07:26:34 pm »
Quote from: Katusha on July 13, 2011, 06:51:54 pm
lol did she try to save you with her bikini bottoms, but then she let go so you and her panties fell in the sea?
i dont even know....
oh oh oh! I know this one!
Ending scene from Titanic?
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Unkn0wn
No longer retired
Posts: 18379
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #8 on:
July 13, 2011, 07:28:46 pm »
Quote from: deadbolt on July 13, 2011, 06:47:14 pm
i remember tryna nail my ex gf in the sea in dubai. but it was a man made island and i fell of the edge of it into deep sea, and she lost her bikini bottoms, so i had to fetch her new ones from the hotel. it was so obviously clear what we was doing it was rather fail, but epic win at the same time.
Did you know they can put you in jail for just kissing in public in Dubai?
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EIRRMod
Administrator / Lead Developer
Posts: 11009
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #9 on:
July 13, 2011, 07:37:25 pm »
Quote from: brn4meplz on July 13, 2011, 05:53:05 pm
I've got too many to remember. There usually has to be a situation the jogs my memory of an event.
Wow.
Im right here with brn on this one. The situation that jogs my memories is usually copious amounts of alcohol - which has the reverse effect of me trying to FORGET them.
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Quote from: brn4meplz
Shit I'm pretty sure you could offer the guy a cup of coffee and he'd try to kill you with the mug if you forgot sugar.
Quote from: tank130
That's like offering Beer to fuck the fat chick. It will work for a while, but it's not gonna last. Not only that, but there is zero motivation for the Fat chick to loose weight.
Quote from: tank130
Why don't you collect up your love beads and potpourri and find something constructive to do.
Katusha
EIR Veteran
Posts: 989
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #10 on:
July 13, 2011, 08:14:18 pm »
Quote from: Groundfire on July 13, 2011, 07:26:34 pm
oh oh oh! I know this one!
Ending scene from Titanic?
holy shizzle, i wasn't even thinking about Titanic
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deadbolt
Probably Banned
EIR Veteran
Posts: 4410
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #11 on:
July 14, 2011, 05:29:52 am »
Quote from: Unkn0wn on July 13, 2011, 07:28:46 pm
Did you know they can put you in jail for just kissing in public in Dubai?
yeah, even for holding hands. but this was within the confines of the hotel grounds.
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TheIcelandicManiac
Resident forum troll. Fucked unkn0wns mom
Posts: 6294
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #12 on:
July 14, 2011, 05:57:19 am »
Quote from: EIRRMod on July 13, 2011, 07:37:25 pm
Wow.
Im right here with brn on this one. The situation that jogs my memories is usually copious amounts of alcohol - which has the reverse effect of me trying to FORGET them.
Quote from: brn4meplz on July 13, 2011, 05:53:05 pm
I've got too many to remember. There usually has to be a situation the jogs my memory of an event.
Well please go jogging sometimes and come here and post the storys
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Malgoroth
Donator
Posts: 960
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #13 on:
July 14, 2011, 07:26:30 am »
I was a junior in high school, and every other day my first was class was science. The teachers name was coach Floyd and he was a rather popular teacher among students because just about every day he'd put on videos for us to watch that went over whatever it was we were supposed to be learning rather than teach it himself (American education system ftw). He was the kind of teacher who just didn't give a shit. This was perfect for me since movie + lights off + first period + "teacher" = fucking nap time. Every day where I had that class, without fail, there would be a video and I could catch up on the sleep I didn't get the night before, and since this was only a month into the school year my body wasn't yet ready to wake up before 12pm. One day I arrived to class and proceeded to pass out as I usually did and after about an hour I woke up to a dead silent, completely engrossed classroom gazing speechlessly at some intriguing images on the TV. On the screen were 2 skyscrapers engulfed in flames and shots of panicked, frightened people either gazing up at the sky, or fleeing in terror. This seemed much more interesting than the typical crap we watched in that class so rather excitedly I asked "Ah cool! What movie is this??"
«
Last Edit: July 14, 2011, 07:28:13 am by Malgoroth
»
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TheVolskinator
Administrator / Lead Developer
Posts: 3012
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #14 on:
July 14, 2011, 07:55:53 am »
MMkay, so you all know that Im employed at a local boathouse (or should :| ). A few years back a damn funny joke we had was "Find the smell." Boathouse smelled like a goat's ass and nobody could figure out why. About 2 months into the spring/summer season, our staff director told us to go under the boathouse building its self and take a look at the plumbing. Got there, looked fine, but one spot in the piping smelled absolutely shit terrible and had a small leak. After about an hour of trying to remove the damned piping we finally got it off only to discover what the hell was clogging the pipe. There was a giant wad of paper with a single dollar bill sticking out of one side, with a huge lot of backed up shit (literally) behind it. Traviss, a co-worker, pointed at it and said "Shit guys...that's a poop dolla'. "
Every day for the last 4 years, someone has made a poop dolla joke at the boathouse.
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Mister Schmidt
Lawmaker
Posts: 5006
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #15 on:
July 14, 2011, 08:05:58 am »
This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute up my pussy.
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Quote from: xez0 on August 29, 2014, 10:57:01 am
and 6th " Main Thing " is you have to Chant " hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna hare hare hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare ".
Quote from: Smokaz on November 22, 2011, 09:01:38 am
"Seeing Bigdick in his full sado mask attire, David couldn't help but feel a tingle in his special place.."
velocity78
EIR Veteran
Posts: 190
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #16 on:
July 14, 2011, 08:08:19 am »
Quote from: Mister Schmidt on July 14, 2011, 08:05:58 am
This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute up my pussy.
sounds like something out of American Pie
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3rdCondor- just hand out reward points and ppl will shut up
tank130-How about people shut up and we hand out reward points... just a thought
Quote from: Hicks58 on August 13, 2011, 09:37:24 am
Velocity, why you no let us do public lynching?
Quote from: tank130 on November 06, 2011, 03:38:01 pm
Smurf has a serious fucking problem..
Mister Schmidt
Lawmaker
Posts: 5006
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #17 on:
July 14, 2011, 08:11:07 am »
It is
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PonySlaystation
EIR Veteran
Posts: 4136
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #18 on:
July 14, 2011, 08:19:30 am »
Quote from: Unkn0wn on July 13, 2011, 07:28:46 pm
Did you know they can put you in jail for just kissing in public in Dubai?
Quote from: deadbolt on July 14, 2011, 05:29:52 am
yeah, even for holding hands.
But, but WHY??!!
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Sharks are not monsters Henley, they are cute, cuddly and misunderstood. They love humans. sometimes they love TOO much. They love people so much that sometimes their kisses separate people into two flailing pieces which are consumed by other sharks in a frenzy of peace and joy.
deadbolt
Probably Banned
EIR Veteran
Posts: 4410
Re: Funny lifetime storys.
«
Reply #19 on:
July 14, 2011, 08:24:20 am »
cos theyre arabs tbh.
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